Miss Tee Menu wins Miss Gay Jozi 2014.
She is from Daveyton…

More photos and articles to be included sooner.

Photo by Smanga Shange/ Inkanyiso.

My name is Abongile Matyila.
Abongile is a Xhosa name which means to be grateful. My uncle gave me that name.
I’m a 22 year old Bachelor of Arts (BA) student studying at the University of Fort Hare, East London in the Eastern Cape.

Born in Mdantsane, the second biggest township in South Africa, I was raised with three younger siblings and brought up by both my parents. Due to socio-economic pressures to find a good qualification, I entered my first year of university as an Accounting student, but subsequently developed an interest in the fields of Sociology and Philosophy which are his current courses of study. My love for these subjects offered me a platform to explore much of my own identity in relation to the world around me.
Growing up as a person with an ambiguous sexuality fuelled my interest towards understanding the complexities of sexuality, gender expression and the act of sex itself. I was afforded the opportunity to present on the topic of sexuality in a philosophy colloquium at the University of Fort Hare. I assisted in coordinating a student LGBTI group at the university in 2011 and proceeded to join the Eastern Cape Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Intersex organisation, of which is currently appointed as the Provincial Organiser.

Apart from being politically active in the field of LGBTI rights in the Eastern Cape, I have always had a burning passion for the performing arts. I was considered a stellar jazz soloist in high school, and participated in various local theatre productions during my teen years.  Later on danced in a performing group called Creative Pulse which offered a platform for LGBTI artists.  It is where I found freedom to express myself as a performer whilst interacting with like-minded artists. As much as I loved performing, although my love for the arts has always defined the person I am.
I felt that need to ground and identify myself in my hometown where a change of perceptions towards LGBTI people – cultural and religious – was needed.

As an individual, my desire has always been to champion one’s sole expression, regardless of whom or where they are. Being a gender non-conforming black person meant I had to mediate between my gender expression, sexuality and cultural values, which might not have been aligned under ‘usual’ circumstances. Having to find a common ground between these components encouraged me to find myself, and thus live an assertive life full of expression and liberty.

I wish to see myself walking on the ramps of Paris Fashion week. I want to be in a big stage production or as a well-recognised activist, a proof that every individual is unique and has as much a right to a full life as any. Everyone should be treated with respect, as we are all human beings, and afforded the liberty to live their lives as they see fit; a life free from pressure to conform, inequality and prejudice.

Understanding and embracing one’s individuality is key to accepting who one is, which creates room to live your life to the fullest. The act of being yourself is indeed the best person you can ever be.

ABONGILE MATYILA Scenery Park, AMALINDA. East London. (2012)                                                          Photo by Zanele Muholi.

I found myself at 22

Seems like I’ve been walking aimlessly
Dodging bullets of hate and vile perceptions
What are you, where do you come from?
Am I not supposed to be here?

The life I had come to know
Did not recognise who I was
Not my love, nor my face
Nor my need to breathe the same air
The hard cold of its back offering thick clouds of judgment
I don’t know who I am anymore.

I lost the warmth of the sun in my sleep
The feel of the morning dew on my feet
I forgot the smell of the waking world at dawn
The mornings filled with joy,
days filled with happiness

But this is not my home

There is no place for me here.

I catch a glimpse of a photograph
A spot of distant hope in my eyes
A hope of dancing at the Theatre
And walking the streets of Paris close to midnight
The rain misty
and soft
against my smile, warmed by a content heart
This air is filled with crisp dreams
And a life full of worth for the living!

But where is this life?
If I this one is not mine to live,
In my own way?
How is it that you impose your thoughts about my body,
As if repainting an old wall worthless to the space it occupies?

Man, what has my love for another spoken to you
That encourages you to crush my dreams
and devalue my self worth?

Tell me
I need to breath; a space to be visible
To be loved

I need a place I can call home.

The winner of the 2014 Miss Gay Jozi is the 19 year old Miss Tee Menu from Daveyton.

Photos by Smanga Shange

Related article

2014 May 18 :  Glitter, drama & perfection at Miss Gay Jozi 2014

I said…

Fashion is gendered
fashion is racialized
fashion is traditional
fashion is cultured
fashion is multilingual
fashion is colored
fashion is queer
fashion is sexual

 Fashion has a language
fashion is global
fashion is a state of economy

fashion is in Black and White
fashion is fake
fashion is fickle

Who decides what is or not?

Fashion is about you
and I
fashion is gay
fashion is Us
Fashion is my skin
fashion is the body
Hair is fashion
Fashion is Be-ing

Fashion is chemicalized
fashion is medicinal
fashion is botoxed
fashion is industry
Sanitized is fashion

Fashion is marginalized
fashion is homophobia
Sensational is fashion

Fashion is moneyed
Think– dollars, rands, yen, pounds, euros, pula…
fashion is an expression
fashion is my religion

Fashion is brutal
fashion is blind
bound
bent
bloody
Let Fashion Be…

Fashion is about production
fashion is political
corrupt
and corrupted

Fashion is racist
fashion is mixed – emotions
and emotional
fashion is camouflaged

Fashion is this, that, there, then
fashion is about time, timing, timelines
lifelines

Vintage is fashion
fashion is intergenerational
fashion is older than us
than you

fashion is young
fashion is no-sense

fashion is sex/sexual/sexuality
is sensual

Fashion is your mother,
your father,
your sister,
your brother,
your cousin,
your granny
with grey-ed hair
wisdom

Fashion is my family
and yours too
fashion is about relations
about relationships
we, humans communicate
through fashion

Yes
Fashion is universal beyond words
fashion is visual
if not photographic too
fashion revokes conflicts

Africa is where the fashion sense
content
context

Fashion is contained
Sexuality is not a fashion trend
We are all consumed by fashion
Ideas…

by Zanele Muholi
© 2014

All Photos by Lerato Maduna
© 27/11/2012

What:  Faces and Phases exhibition opening

When:  2 Years ago (27th November 2012)

Where:  Goethe-Institut Südafrika, 119 Jan Smuts Ave, Parkwood. Johannesburg.

 Where are they now?

Ayanda Moremi got married to Nhlanhla Moremi on the 9th November 2014 in Thokoza and Vosloorus townships, Johannesburg.

Ntobza work and live in Durban.  Yaya Mavundla writes for Inkanyiso

Alia has since moved to Georgia…
 Sly Pod travelled with me to San Francisco and presented her story as a participant in Faces and Phases and on the state of being a young black lesbian professional in South Africa.
See: Photos from Brown Bois Retreat in Oakland, California.

Collen Mfazwe is finishing Photography –  Intermediate Course at Market Photo Workshop.
Collen’s best article “The special boy”

Neo Ntsoma had her documentary produced by AlJazeera 

https://buni.tv/video/artscape-new-african-photography-neo-ntsoma/

Neo is the first black woman recipient of the CNN African Journalist Award for photography...

The number of friends, participants in Faces and Phases series who attended the exhibition… More than 300 individuals were there.

Lesego Tlhwale volunteered for Inkanyiso as a writer and currently work for SWEAT in Cape Town. Lesego’s partner is featured here with her partner, Baitiri.
Best read article by Lesego is “A dildo is not a man, it’s a fantastic toy…”

Ayanda Msiza photographed Tumi Nkopane and Maureen Majola.
Majola performed “Sifela I Ayikho” at Studio 44, Berlin in Germany.
Lerato Maduna, one of the best Black Female Photographers in South Africa, she took the photos featuring in this photo album. Lerato is franked by Siphiwe Mbatha and Collen Mfazwe both from Daveyton township.

Teekay Khumalo, Pinky Mbangula and Sne Lunga are some of the participants in Faces and Phases…

The handsome Teekay contemplating…
He came all the way from Durban to Johannesburg to attend the special event.

L-R:  Visual Artists Humbu Nsenga and Renee Mathibe came to support…

Xana Nyilenda is one of the best young filmmakers and writer.
Read her travel-log:
“Cramps were killing me.”

Members of my bio family who attended my exhibition for the first time in Johannesburg. So wish my late mother was physical there.

Responding to journalist question why I think Visual Activism is so important in South Africa….
Read article:  Poise, Pride and Prejudice

Lungile Dladla is a dedicated young activist. She wrote her first story for Inkanyiso which touched so many readers’ hearts. Titled “I am not a victim but a Victor”

Candice Nkosi won the second princess on Miss Gay Jozi (2013).
She is featuring in the Beauties and Beach series.

NB:  To read related articles CLICK on underlined links provided on this post.

To be continued…

Featuring in the series is Lebo ‘Leptie’ Phume (2013) and (2014) portraits.

Faces and Phases (2006-14)
by Zanele Muholi

Book Launch
Friday, November 7, 2014
Time: 7-9 pm

by Lindeka Qampi

What: Gay Wedding

When:  7th Aug. 2014

Where: Johannesburg, South Africa

1. Decoration: Kim Cordier was Décor person who was responsible in making the entire venue glitz in crystals, chandeliers, red and white and also incorporating rainbow/LGBTI colours in the garden and Reception area.

Important items on our wedding list were:

1.Venue, Food and drinks, Photography, Invitations, Guests, Pastor, Decoration, cake, Suits and shoes, Entertainment system.

2. Suits and Bow ties: Red it’s our colour because of its simplicity and warm feeling of love.

3. Makeup artist: was Nomagugu Mwelase who is a beautician working in her own studio in Soweto and has been doing beauty work for quite a number of people in the entertainment industry that’s why we recommended her.

4. Pastor John Klooper from the Andre Murray Reforming Church in Pretoria Brooklyn blessed our ceremony and we are the church members.

5. Flowers exchange ceremony was the highlight of our wedding which portrait love and spiritual path as gay Christians.

6. Venue Owner: we had a very good relationship with Barbara as we used to visit the restaurant at the venue; she eventually became our wedding planner.

 7. On the Red Couch: We waited in the wedding suit to prepare our makeup, putting on our wedding suits, and conduct the interview with journalists from Inkanyiso.

8. Garden: the garden set up with fresh lilies and smell of lavender was the heart of the beauty of the wedding as the red and white colours filled the place with joy peace and happiness.

Wedding Plans

We meet 2 years ago in Johannesburg and after sometime we decided to get married legally with a small private wedding of 30 people as guests.
We are staying together in Helderkruin, North West of Johannesburg.
We  we have visited most restaurants and other venues around and eventually that led us in choosing Valverde Country Hotel in Lammar Moore, Beyers Naude.
It was the perfect wedding venue as it is outside Johannesburg, quiet and beautiful.
It actually took us 3 months to prepare for everything as we always knew that we will get married. We knew what we wanted luckily had very supportive and respecting friends and family in our lives.

Through commitment and sharing of responsibilities we were able to achieve it all although there were some hiccups here and there. We thank all people who dedicated their time and made our wedding to be the Best and Perfect thing in our lives.

Related link

2014 Oct. 5: “The best day of their lives”

by Junie Sihlangu

I’ve always been a fan of Zanele Muholi’s work and it was such an honour to get to review her book Faces and Phases 2006–14.

I honestly thought it would be just a bunch of photos, as that is what she’s famous for. I was pleasantly surprised when I found poetry, short articles and small biographies of lesbians and trans people.

The only word I can think of when reading and paging through this book is “moved”. I was moved by the striking images, moved by the words and life stories, moved by the quotes and most of all, I was moved by the feeling of belonging. I saw myself in so many of the articles, the thoughts expressed and the images taken.

I went through so many emotions, happiness, laughter, connection, anger, immense sadness and confusion. It’s a book you want to share with others. I told my girlfriend that I would use it as a sort of “coming out” or educational item by putting it where my family will find it and hopefully they’ll become curious and want to read it.

Kekeletso Khena, Green Market Square, Cape Town, 2012

The idea is that after paging through it, they just might realise that I am not the only lesbian, that it’s not a disease and maybe for once, they will understand who I truly am. ( This makes a beautiful quote)

I wish for all the young lesbians and transgender individuals to have an opportunity to read this book, to see that they are not alone. To know that religion, muti or reparative programs will not change who they are and that it is a gift to be lesbian or trans.

What I would have done to have been able to access to a book that shows me images of other lesbian women, how normal and natural they are. How much they struggle like anyone else, how strong they are and how they overcome obstacles in their ways. How human they are and how alike we are.

Matshidido Mofokeng and Sweeto Mahlatse who are both featuring in the series…

The stories about hate crimes still upset me, but they show me the reality of what life is like for us. The book is like a life guide. Tells you that being homosexual is not a curse, tells you to stand up tall and be proud of who you are. Pushes you to go for your dreams and believe in yourself, but also prepares you for the challenges that a black lesbian woman will face…including rejection, loneliness, being outcast, not accepted, raped, hurt, hated, targeted and so much more. But more than anything, it tells you to fight, to be you no matter what. That is a powerful statement.

I hope it will be translated into many languages, that more books like this will be produced. That they will be taken to the townships, to schools, to the rural areas where that young girl battles with who she’s attracted to. I pray it reaches the churches, the hospitals, clinics and the household with that guy who thinks he can correct a lesbian by raping and killing her.

I certanly hope that Faces and Phases changes hearts, changes mindsets, opens people’s eyes and they finally see us for who we truly are.

I am inspired by this book. It’s a light in the darkness, the hope that so many need. It’s evident that a lot of work went into creating it, the only criticism I have is that I wish there was a wider variety of images instead of the repetition of certain subjects so we may truly see how vast we are. I also would have loved to read more of Miss Muholi’s own words and thoughts as some are quoted in Gabeba Baderoon’s essay.

All in all, I was delighted by it and I believe it is a huge accomplishment for the whole black lesbian and trans community. Our stories have been told and more importantly our photographs have been documented. No one can claim that we never existed and Sindiwe Magona would be pleased.

BIO

Junie Sihlangu is an aspiring businesswoman 24/7. A freelance graphic designer when needed. I am a good lover and writer (when asked). A jill of some trades, and a great soul.

Related link

2014 Nov. 20: Book Review : Faces and Phases (2006 – 2014)

by Katiso Kgope

It’s been days since we returned safely to Johannesburg from Durban. I must say it has been a phenomenal experience, one that I will never forget. I’m so grateful that I was selected to be part of this great opportunity, and I’m thankful to Zanele Muholi. We traveled to Durban from Johannesburg on the morning of December 30, and the road trip to Durban was very memorable. We took photos and video clips to document those moments; with our cameraman was Phumlani Mdlalose (who documented most of our moves), he is such a funny tall guy. It felt like I was part of a reality TV show, and we were all stars of the show.

The first stop when we arrived in Durban was the beach, a friend said “open the window, smell the clean fresh air that is Durban and listen to the ocean waves.” I must say Durban air is refreshingly calming; I couldn’t get enough of it. The first thing I wanted to do was to feel the sand under my feet while I run around, playing with water like a 4 year-old, but it wasn’t time yet. We then headed to Muholi’s hometown of Umlazi. the sections of Umlazi aren’t named liked the sections we usually use such as extension 2, or extension 3, they are called according to the alphabets but have a specific way to call them, such as kwa A, kwa B and kwa C, and we stayed kwa P.

Muholi’s home had very pleasant and welcoming people, who are Muholi’s family members. We first familiarised ourselves with the place and it was very lovely. We then went to the mall to buy groceries for our visit, and when we got back, Charmaine cooked up a storm, preparing a delicious home cooked meal that we all enjoyed. We then dealt with the sleeping arrangements, some slept on the bed, some on the floor and some on the couch. There were other places we could sleep at, but we wanted to be together so we slept in the same house.

L-R: Katiso Kgope (the author) and Lu Mzimela (the new friend that Kat met in Umlazi in Dec. 2014). Photo by Zanele Muholi (1st Jan. 2015). Lagoon Beach, Durban.

We woke up the next morning and had a meeting to discuss everything we wanted to do while we were in Durban. Top of the list was the beach; we took everything we needed, before heading to there. On our way we picked up a girl called Luyanda Mzimela, I think Muholi planned to hook us up because we instantly clicked as if we’ve known each other for a very long time.

We immediately became best friends, we looked very much alike, and people thought we were twins. While driving to the beach I was so excited (apart from the fact that it wasnot as hot as I expected). It was kind of cloudy but that didn’t stop us from having fun at the beach and touring the different beaches such as North beach and South beach.

We were in the water for the whole day. We even had a mini beach shoot, nothing serious, but Zanele said in order to have a proper beach shoot, we need proper swimwear, so a proper beach shoot awaited us. Later that evening we returned toed Muholi’s home,
everyone had made their own plans. That all failed, so we ended up spending the night there. It was amazing; we danced, and laughed while meat was prepared in the braai.

Then came time for the countdown, moments away from 2015. I could just see the joy in everyone’s face, waiting for the clock to strike 00:00. When the New Year came in, Umlazi blossomed with beautiful fireworks that were a work of art, which is one of the highlights of the trip.

Then came the day of the beach photo shoot, the day I had been waiting for. We drove around town looking for props for the shoot and found beautiful hats along with underwear that complimented the swimsuits. While doing the last minute shopping for the shoot, we came across an old woman from Muholi’s church. I was shocked to find out that the elderly lady is a lesbian. I’ve never met an old lesbian or gay man before. It was an honour to meet her.

When we arrived at the beach it was so packed, since it was January 2. We struggled to find a spot to shoot, until we found a nice corner by the ocean at South beach. Luyanda was the first to do her shoot. Looking at her made me feel kind of intimidated to be in front of the camera, worse we were in a public space with everyone watching us.

I was really afraid to be in front of the camera because I’ve never done a photo shoot with an audience spectating. My turn to be in front of the camera came. I was afraid to take off my wrap around because wearing only a costume made me feel a bit naked for the first few shots. Muholi kept reminding me to be free and be myself, because above all, I don’t know these people and they don’t know me.

That gave me the confidence to give it my all and the more shots I took, the more confident I felt. The sun was so hot that while shooting, I felt like my make-up was running down my face. Luckily I had a helper to wipe my shiny face, and motivated me by making me smile. Above all it was an amazing day, couldn’t ask for anything more. A Top Shayela like Muholi would say, “This is how we do it”. I felt like a real model and when I walked around the beach, I was respected for the right reason for a change.

We then went to a braai in KwaMashu, were we met a lesbian’s family which surprisingly enough, also has a gay son and cousin. I felt comfortable in an inviting environment. We had so much fun (like we always do), we had a 7 colour meal, followed by having some fine wine then we all danced like there was no tomorrow, then we left and went home.

For our 2^nd last day in Durban we went to book bus tickets and found that they were expensive. Even though I would have loved to catch a flight back home, we had to settle for a taxi. On the last day we woke up early, thinking we would leave in the morning. We all bathed, had breakfast, some were doing laundry and some were watching the news. Everyone was packed and ready to leave. The transport came, we loaded our luggage in the taxi, we said our final goodbyes and as hard is it was to leave, the vacation had finally ended.

2015 Jan. 2: After the photo shoot @ Durban South Beach…

If it was up to me I would have stayed for 3 weeks, but that was out of question. Those who remained behind took us to the taxi rand to catch a taxi back to Joburg. It was so hard to leave. I felt like I found home away from home, but we had to get back to reality.
Durban was fun, I would not have changed any single moment because every memory is memorable. I hope someday I could return for another visit to my new family that I found in Umlazi.

Related links

2015 Jan.20: Year 2014 was not all great

and

2015 Jan. 17: My Durban virgin-ity breaks

11-26 February 2015
Lillestrøm/Oslo, NORWAY

Akershus Art Center

Adress: Storgata 4, Lillestrøm

Msa Muholi covered his mouth with a yellow cloth trying to block the chilling wind outside the Art on the day of our arrival, 11th Feb. 2015

Wednesday 11th:

Arriving Gardermoen 9.05 AM
Tor Arne pick up at the train station in Lillestrøm (or at the airport)

Thurday 12th:

Installation in the Art center from 11– 17.
Opening at Astrup Fearley Museum 18-19.
Evening free.

Friday 13th:

Installation in the art center from 10 – 17

Saturday 14^th  Feb.
Free daytime. In the evening:
Dinner with Rikke and family.

2015 Feb. 14 At dinner with Rikke, Simon, Themba and Sicka. Photo by Zanele Muholi

Sunday 15^th Feb.
Day off and having fun at the Oslo SkiiCenter

Monday 16th Feb. 

10-17: Mounting in the gallery, Lillestrøm

Tuesday 17th:

10-17: Mounting in the gallery, Lillestrøm

Themba Vilakazi, from photographer to videographer to a writer… part of installation shots

2015 Feb. 17 On the train to Toyen from Lillestrom. Photos by Zanele Muholi & Themba Vilakazi

Wednesday 18th:

10-17: Mounting in the gallery, Lillestrøm.
Finish text for walls, send wall text to print

Thursday 19th:

Installing in the gallery, Lillestrøm, deadline for finishing at 6pm
Art Critic

Friday 20th:

Finish list of works

Saturday 21st:

13.00 Exhibition opening v/ speeches

14.30-15.30 Artist talk

16-17PM Book signing

Dinner from 17 – 19.30 (after that free to go everywhere)

Sunday 22nd:

13.00 Presentation in the gallery for free audience

15.00 – 15.45 Concert in the gallery with Morten Minothi Kristiansen

Free time after 17.00.

Monday 23rd:

10-11PM: Kulturparken kindergarten. Meeting preschool kids in an art kindergarten. Adress: Sofienberggata 56, close to Tøyen.
Meet Liva at 9.30.

17 – 19 PM Seminar and talk at House of human rights / Norwegian council for Africa (Menneskerettighetshuset, Fellesrådet for Africa).

Speech with Zanele and Shaz ‘Sicka’ Mthunzi?
Free audience. A collaboration between LLH, Fellesrådet for Afrika and Akershus Kunstsenter.

Tuesday 24th:

Zanele gives a exclusive guided tour in the exhibition for one group of youth

from 2 – 3 PM

Wednesday 25th:

10-12 PM Meeting with Ministry of Foreign Affairs (UD).

Rikke meets you outside Tøyen metro at 9.15.

Thursday 26th:

19.40PM Flight from Gardermoen to Johannesburg.

Train to the airport at 16…

Related articles on this trip

2015 Feb. 15: “I have won again”

and

2015 Feb. 13: From Johannesburg to Oslo

and

2015 Feb. 10: Another round for Norway

and

Previous from Oslo visits

2013 June 21: The Princess of Norway pitched just for Muholi

and

2013 June 20 Inkanyiso Sees The Rainbows with Norwegians

and

2013 June 21: Yesterday’s Reality Check

Where:  Durban, South Africa

Faces and Phases participants, Phila Mbanjwa and Tinashe Wakapila, a selfie taken by Phila somewhere in Durban (28.06.2015)

Being a woman is more to it than being a pretty face or have gorgeous make up that covers blemishes and pimples but it is about mostly the amount of struggle, trials and tribulations that one has gone through and still stand up with her head tall. I smile and still enjoy also appreciate life at its fullest. 

– Tinashe Wakapila

Previous by Phila and Tinashe

2013 March 10: “I love women and they love me”

and

 
2015 Jan. 3:  I dropped out of the closest many times

It is late at night when my mind begins wondering to places I made a concise decision to ignore. The thought lingers over me like a dark cloud above my head and suddenly I am cold with sadness. I listen to the rhythmic breathing of my partner who lay with her head on my chest and her warmth tries to fight off the cold but this is a battle not worth fighting at the moment.

I have never been in the closet and I have never been confused about my sexuality. From a young age I knew who I was, but did not know the right words to express what I was feeling. I did how ever believe that something was wrong with me, and that amongst other things led to thoughts of suicide when I became a teenager. It is the fear of hell and hurting my parents that prevented me from doing anything stupid and it is the fear of hurting my parents that keeps me from telling them about this beautiful woman I call my girl.

I cannot help but believe that my parents are being ignorant for not being aware of my sexuality. The signs have always been there, it is them who choose to look past them. I want for them to open their eyes and see the truth so that I do not have to tell it to them, but that is not happening. I have just turned 24, an age where I am done screwing around with girls and looking for true love. I am now working towards a future, a future I fear my parents will not be proud of.

I am not a closet case and never have been yet my parents are under the impression that I will one day marry a man. I am at a predicament because I want to tell them that I am attracted to women, that I love everything about them. But at the same time I do not want to disappoint them. However, I do not understand why my sexuality should be disappointing to them, I am happy and healthy. Is that not what should count?
Instead than the gender of the person I choose to be with.

It is late at night and I lie on my back watching the moon smile down on us. My flat is wide with a window that covers an entire wall. Where the window ends is a transparent door that leads to the balcony. I hold my love closer and try to count the stars. The moon illuminates her light skin, our naked arms and legs intertwined.
How could this possibly be a sin and why would any one want to stand against it?
Why are we judged, raped and killed for loving those close to us and giving them affection?
For a moment I feel helpless and I pray to God that he protects us.

I am a believer of the bible; I believe in God, and that he sent his son Jesus to die for our sins. I believe that Jesus died and rose and that his blood cleansed us off all our sins. I also believe that man is sinful by nature but I refuse to believe that this is a sin. I come from a God fearing family and when they find out I am lesbian I will be a sinner in their eyes. I will no longer be just the daughter, niece and aunt; I will become the gay daughter, the lesbian aunt and the strange niece. This I know for a fact.

I have two options, be the woman they expect me to be at home, who aspires to things either than marriage and continue to live my life as I please when I am away from home. Or I can come out of this closet I claim I am not in and bare the consequences due to me, no longer being the young woman they know me as, but as isitabane (homosexual). I don’t mind being called isitabane, in fact I don’t even care. But I do mind if my parents are hurt by it even if what hurts them is a large piece of my being that will never change

So I continue to count the stars until I feel exhaustion weigh heavily on my half closed eyelids. I hold my lady closer and fall into a pleasant, deep sleep despite all my worries.

Sandisiwe’s portrait from her facebook page (2015/03/16)

My name is Sandisiwe Dlamini. I am from a small town called Port Shepstone on the South Coast of KZN but I now live in Johannesburg.

I studied Video Technology at the Durban University of Technology where I graduated with distinctions. I did my internship at E News Africa, The Refinery as well as Black Brain Pictures. Currently I am an editor at a community TV channel.

When I was young I had a wild imagination and because of this I would make up my own stories and write them down. When I became older I started writing poetry and after High School I started drafting scripts and complete novels. Some of which I plan to publish one day. My love for writing led me to study television.

In high school I joined a municipal NPO called Life Hunters where I was regional secretary and registered an arts organization with my peers called NEW AGE.
New Age is a group of youngsters that come together to share their love for art in the form of music, drama, dance and poetry.

After University I was part of the crew for a feature film QHAKAZA that was aired on Mzansi magic in 2013 and 2014.

Related links

2014 Jan. 29: Education is primal

I am Thando Nkonzwana, originally from Cape Town. I would love to tell you about my recent journey. Everything  is a new chapter to me, the traveling and meeting new faces.

The 18^th of June 2015 was my first time going to Johannesburg. It was not just a journey, but also a lifetime memory for myself. I was excited knowing that my mom allowed me to visit my partner Thembela Dick, and for having the courage to let her daughter travel alone.

Thembela & Thando’s photo in Durban.

I arrived at my partner’s new home. The warmth and comfort given to me by her were wonderful.  On the day of my arrival I received good news that we would be going to the Joburg Theatre to see Romeo & Juliet.

I was wondering how the performance would be. I couldn’t wait, up until I had a seat number and waited patiently for the show to start. Considering that it was my first time to be at the theatre. The play was different compared to the book I read, and even more different to the movie.  If someone read the book (because its similar) then they would understand the play.
The cast gave a beautiful outstanding performance. Great movement, the energy was flowing, you could tell that the performers rehearsed. Their energy was terrific. I would love for someone else to watch it as well. It was a once off experience and now I want to watch more plays. It made a slight change in me and now I can explore plays in my own province and support people who have talent.

I can’t wait to express how I felt about my second surprise. Thembela told me we would be going to Durban LGBTI Pride parade. Remember that this is my very first time going to to a different province, then I am told I will be going to another province, Durban city.
I’ve never experienced Pride Parade before. Yes, I am from Cape Town but I don’t normally do outings.

I had this glow in my face as we packed our bags. It was a smile that didn’t want to go away. The warmth of having my partner next to me, exploring, it was amazing and felt so good. We arrived at one of the Faces and Phases participant’s home in Durban. Tinashe Wakapila welcomed us with a warm heart, and then I met another Faces and Phases participant, Phila Mbanjwa. These ladies are very beautiful and outspoken. I felt free to communicate and wouldn’t mind spending a week with them.

The following day was Saturday, June 27, Pride day. We joined the march and wow, it was incredibly stunning. Seeing bright colors which represent the LGBTI community. The way marchers sang songs that have powerful meanings, dancing, holding hands was all very beautiful. What I learnt in that moment is that being Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender, is always about “us”. I’m saying “us” because we unite together, to boost one another.

I believe my holiday isn’t only about having fun, its also about what I learnt. Phila and Tinashe spoke so much sense to me about life. I was the youngest and they told me the basic challenges about life, how they overcame it and are still going strong. We all have our specific talents/gifts and paths that God has given us.

Thembela is a special person in my life and gives me direction in life. She supports and encourages me with my schoolwork. It is a blessing having her because everyone needs a person to tap on his or her shoulder and say work hard. To remind you that nothing is easy, but that everything comes from hardwork. Having someone like her makes me know which path I want to take in life and how to handle life’s challenges. Her motivation makes me realise that I am so blessed and I don’t take it for granted because someone is seeking for it while I am getting it.

I am back in Jozi and enjoying it. I must say I am thankful for the opportunity I am getting, learning and seeing famous provinces. My brain is so fresh and I am looking forward to telling my siblings. I can’t wait to go back to school so I can discuss it with my tourism teacher. Now I can actually speak to her in class and be able to relate to what she’s saying when she speaks about Johannesburg and Durban.

My dream is to travel the world, I’m still a high school learner but hope my dream comes true.  Tourism is one of my major subjects, and there are chances I might end up in the media or business fields. I want to work hard so I can travel with my partner. I need to make my mom proud, she is one woman I look up to. She’s in the business field. She is one of those single parents that would do anything for her children to achieve their goals. I know for a fact that she’s waiting for me to make her proud because she’s been working hard for that. I wouldn’t be exploring if she didn’t allow me, she made me an adult for a moment. I call her and tell her how I am doing so that I don’t make her worry about her little daughter.

My mother is taking my sexuality seriously. Telling her about going to my partner and how we are traveling around and being given this opportunity must have surprised her. Honestly not many children get such permission from their parents. I am thankful for her support.
I am a young lesbian, about to turn 20 years old soon. I’m approaching adult age and I know what I want, why I want it and how I will achieve it. Am grateful for this opportunity given to me.

Related links

2015 Jan.17:  My Durban virgin-ity breaks

I am Thembisa Cordelia Mhlawuli known as Lovey. I was born in Cape Town in Somerset Hospital. My parents are Nomthandazo Patricia known as ‘Pat’ and Welile Christopher Mhlawuli. I am the last-born, my sister’s name is Carol and brother’s is Ezmond. I stayed with my family in Langa for the first, good 5 years. My father became very abusive to my mother, then she left, and that was the end of a happy family for me.

Thembisa at Embo Village, Khayelitsha, at one of KK’s events. Photo by by Yanela Ncetani (2014)

I’ve stayed with my paternal grandmother in Nyanga for 2 years. Then with umakazi wam (aunt, my mother’s sister), she and her husband took me in. I stayed with them for the next 8 years of my life. They raised me with good standards, solid family values, which I still carry with me to this day. At my aunt’s I stayed with a lot of siblings and cousins. During my early teens my closest cousin was already dating, while I was a slow bloomer.

I showed no interest in boys and I was teased because of this, but it did not bother me much. My life was normal and carefree just like any other teen. My first experience with a girl was when I was 11 years old in Primary School. I remember my friend and I were in the soccer and cricket teams. Unlike other girls, we would chase girls and kiss them and run during intervals.

Well I guess I knew I was different from my cousin, but never paid attention to it. In High School things were different, I met a varying group of friends who were nothing like my Primary School friends. We clicked immediately because we were all free spirited and not afraid to express it.

I was 16 years old when I had my first sexual encounter with a girl, it was mind-blowing and scary at the same time. This girl was in my class; she was beautiful with long hair and big eyes. When she changed schools I dated someone else. Funny enough, my friends never asked about my sexuality, I don’t think they cared. I matriculated in 2004; I was employed right after I finished writing my exams. I worked as a waiter at V&A Water Front at the end of 2004.
With the money I saved while waitressing, and registered at North Link College in 2005.
I enrolled to study Fashion Designing, which was to grow my true passion. I kept working as a waitress because I needed money to maintain my education. I met a girl and I fell in love with, the first time I saw her. She was working in the same place as my sister. Her friends started noticing how there was no talk about and boys and how I had tomboys as friends and how there was this one particular girl I hanged around with all the time.

My sister took me out for some time for us to bond. We talked honestly to each other until she told me about the rumors about me and L. I was hesitant to answer, obviously afraid of how she would disapprove. She sensed my hesitation and said, “ You can tell me anything Lovey, I’m your sister and I love you, I promise I won’t be mad.” I told her, “Yes its true, she is not my first girlfriend, I just don’t have feelings for boys.” Suddenly she changed and told me what a disgrace I am to the family, how I was sinning and how I’m practicing Satanism by dating other girls. She stormed out of the restaurant, while I was left with my mouth hanging, all teary and ashamed.

When I got home that day my grandmother and aunts were home with my sister. My grandmother was disgusted my aunts appalled, telling how they thought my tomboy phase would fade away eventually.

I was told that the family would disown me if I did not stop my evil ways. I freaked out obviously, thought and felt that there was really something wrong with me. I later camouflaged with a boyfriend, when my sister saw this boyfriend she started speaking to me again. I wasn’t happy; the boy kept pushing for sex. Not wanting things to go sour with my family, I ended up giving in and fell pregnant during my first and last time.

I then dropped out of school and while I was caring for my daughter I decided that my child would know me and not someone I pretended to be to keep my family happy. I came out to them. This time I told them that falling pregnant was not my intention, neither was dating a boy, “for the sake my child, I will not pretend to be someone am not,” I added. I explained that if they don’t love me for who I am, then I am more than happy to be disowned by them. At that time nothing else mattered but my child.

I was in and out of jobs, while my family had “sort of” accepted me. They were not degrading me for who I am, my sister and were not on speaking terms, even though she was there for my daughter and me.
My daughter became the center of my world, it revolved around her, and it still does actually. When she was three I started dating again, this time openly, this time it was liberating I must admit. Until I was attacked, on the way from a friend’s house, I was with my girlfriend. It was dawn on New Years Day.
My neighbor’s son was at his house, his T-shirt was torn and he was drunk. It didn’t look like anyone was home so I decided to take him to my house for his safety. After I tucked him on the couch, I realised my girlfriend was not inside yet.

So I went to look for her outside. The boy’s friend was chatting up my girlfriend and he looked drunk. I called my girlfriend because I wanted to close the gate, as she was walking towards me, he grabbed her arm then exchanged a few words. I turned, ready to close the gate, then I heard a smashing glass, before I could turn; I felt a sharp thing on my face.
As I turned, the boy was in front of me attacking me with a bottle kop cursing me. As he was stabbing I evaded his swings, he called me Isitabane and how he hates people like me. He asked why he couldn’t get the girl he fancied because of me, when I didn’t even have “the real thing” (penis).

The woman who raised me, my late aunt Mandisa Magadlela Zini who passed away on the 19^th of June 2015 once said to me, “Mntana nam obubomi ubukhethileyo abukho lula and bunobungozi zocela ulumke ugcine imfundiso okhuliswe ngazo” (My child, this life you have chosen is not easy, and it is dangerous, please keep all the principles you were raised with).
She was a pillar and a mother to me and many others that were blessed enough to have crossed her path, May her beautiful soul rest in peace.

I survived that night with a nasty cut on my arm and face. I then started reading and attending funerals of homosexuals who have experienced hate crime and are brutally murdered. I began to attend Gay prides and marches around the community and joined organizations such as LGBTI and Freegender. I truly admired our activists like Funeka “Ta Fura” Soldaat, Zanele Muholi (baba) and many others who have truly made a difference and who are still fighting and telling our stories.

Thembisa’s photo was take by her cousin Solulele Mhlawuli Radebe, during their sister’s housewarming in Delft (2015)

I am proud to be working for a company called Flash Vending Mobile my family and I have a better relationship. Currently, I am engaged to a wonderful soul, soon to be married.
My daughter is healthy, happy and knows who I am.

Previous life stories

2015 May 14: “I’m happy living my life the way I am”

and

2013 Feb. 8: “Let your voices be heard”

My name is Malolo Mofokeng also known as Eva. I am a 26 years old drag queen and come from Petrus Steyn in the Free State. I started my schooling in 1996 at Thiboloha School for the Deaf and Blind in QwaQwa. At the age of 9, I realised that I am different to the other boys at school because I liked playing netball with the girls.

I didn’t know what gay meant. Many who didn’t understand teased me and told me that I am a girl. I was fortunate to be accepted by my teachers and principal who were always kind to me.  One day I decided to put braids in my hair to my mother’s dismay. She got very angry. I then explained to her that I am not like the other boys. That gave her the chance to slowly start accepting me for who I am. Today my family embraces the person I am. They know that I am the one who helps out in the kitchen and does chores in and around the house where needs be.

My mother’s name is Bettie. She works as a domestic helper. My father, William, passed away in 2006. In 2007 I left school to look after my younger brother and to help my mother who was unemployed at that time. In 2012 I moved to Johannesburg. My Deaf friend, Elizabeth took me to eDeaf in Braamfontein where I had the opportunity to study English communication level 1 – 4. I completed my level 4 last year in June and in August I enrolled in an IT computer learnership, which I will complete in July.

In 2013 I read in the Star newspaper about Miss Gay Jozi. All my life I have always wanted to enter a pageant. After reading about it, I entered Miss Gay Vaal and so my journey began. In November that same year, I entered Miss Gay Soweto and made it through to the top 2.

Entering Miss Simply Blue this year, I made it to the top 7 and entered the finals of Miss Gay Jozi, and was crowned the first princess. I have since become a role model in the Deaf gay community. One of my biggest fears that I had to overcome was the fear of being judged by others. I overcame my fear of stage fright and kept a positive attitude.

I believe that the Deaf gay community needs to be supported and given the platform to show to the rest of society that being Deaf and Gay is nothing to be ashamed of.

Related links

 
2015 April 16:  My story as a Zimbabwean Transvestite

and

2014 Aug. 30:  I’m a game changer, leader and activist

My life resembles the story line of the famous English book Dr Jackal and Mr Hyde. I was born Wandile Sincwala on the 17^th of July 1988. Later in my teen years I was reborn as Somizy (Somgaga) as most people around my place of birth Daveyton know me. I’m the first born to my mother, Khethiwe Sincwala and late dad Tshidiso Mashinini.

Somizy-Sincwala, Parktown, 2014 © Zanele-Muholi

I was a happy and playful child, full of life and brought joy to my family. I started school at Enkangala Primary School in 1994 and later moved to Kwa-Ntsikana Higher Primary School. I was one of the best students and participated in sports, debate and sang in the school choral choir. I was Head Boy at Ntsikana PS. As a top student, my mother supported me 100% and was proud of my achievements at that young age. Being called “isitabane” is the reason I excelled. I told myself, “I am going to be the best in whatever I do,” it gave me guts to excel. This is what Wandile was about, being an excellent student.

The birth of Somizy was in 2002 in my first year in high school Lesiba Secondary School. My friends from primary all went to different schools. I went to a new school, made new friends and faced new challenges. I continued to be the best excellent student academically, played sports (Netball) and also sang in the school choral, leading in the choir and also an opera solo tenor. Later in my high school years I lost the drive. I focused more on being “Somizy the dancer” as I was nicknamed. I danced at school concerts, during shows and started attending parties during weekends like any other teenager.
In Grade 11 I was “out” and lived my life the way I thought being gay was about, booze, boys and living carelessly. I dropped out of school, did not see the reason for education, in my mind I thought being gay was all about being rebellious.

Second from left, Somizy Sincwala wins Miss Gay Daveyton 2015. Photo by Lindeka Qampi

Dropping out of school was hard on my family, especially my sweet mom. She advised me to do something with my life before its too late but that advise fell on deaf ears. I could only think about going to groove and of course my outfit for that night. It took me six years to actually realise the need for education and qualification.

In my six years I attempted to go back to school to finish my grades 3 times, but kept on dropping out. I worked at a restaurant, started working as a hairstylist and that has been what supported me through out the years. I finally realised that I need matric than to be wasting time enjoying my youth. I went to finish my grade 11 and this time I passed and a year after I did my matric and I did well too.
Now I’m at Springs College for Further Education & Training studying towards my Diploma in Tourism. Look back; the time I wasted had an impact on the Somizy that I am today. I found myself and through the ups and downs that happened in my life. I have always been the life of partying, I enjoy dancing and through partying I have gained a lot of friends. I was at every event I could go to in and around Daveyton.

In August 2012 I had a facial incident and I was hospitalised for 7 days. That was the most difficult time in my life to go through, I lost all my confidence. I lost the love I had for myself and for things around me. My face, which was my jewel, was scared, I couldn’t handle that. Somehow that was a turning point in my life. It could have been the end of Somizy, but I told myself that I’m greater than this, the devil was not going to own my life and take away my precious life.

A few months after I was hospitalised I heard that Lesiba Mothibe is organising a pageant for the Daveyton LGBTI organisation called Uthingo. I had the urge to enter; I wanted to be on that stage. I had nearly lost my life so I needed to experience everything I took for granted. I approached Lesiba who is like a mother to us, and enquired about the pageant.
She assisted me with the application. I have watched past gay pageants like Miss Gay Ekurhuleni, Miss Gay Valentine and Miss Gay Soweto, but I never thought I would take part in the future.

Somizy at the 2015 Miss Gay Ekurhuleni

Because it was a first pageant for most of us, Lesiba insisted on rehearsals and grooming so we could be ready. The event was hosted at Chill-Out in Maxhoseni section, in Daveyton. It was on 1st of December 2012 (World Aids Day) where I was crowned as the 1st Miss Uthingo 2012. I was surprised I won but I knew I had accomplished another milestone. Through rehearsals I regained myself, I had hope in Somizy again. It only sinked in later in the week that, I actually won, with a scared face. I bless that day, as it was the reawakening of my will power and confidence to walk tall.

Since then I have been entering pageants from Miss Black Pride, Miss Daveyton, Miss Gay Jozi, Miss Gay Soweto, Miss Gay Queens of Queens. I’m currently Miss Mzansi Pride 2014 and also a finalist for Miss Gay Daveyton 2015, which I was crowned 1st princess in 2014. I enter pageants for my empowerment. In every pageant I enter, I walk away with a different experience and I gain more confidence in myself.

I don’t focus on what the prices are but I focus on who am I am inspiring while on that stage

Since day one entering pageants I now own 8 pairs of heels and 4 ball gowns which costs me so much, but I don’t see that as a loss because I love what I’m doing.

Related links

2015 Aug. 28: I have always wanted to enter a pageant

and

2014 Aug. 30 I’m a game changer, leader and activist

by Sicka ‘Sharon’ Mthunzi

What a “turn up” as we say when an event is supported by many. People came in all shapes and sizes, from the ladies in their gorgeous dresses to the gentleman with their smart casual wear. Not forgetting laba bebashaye umswenko hah bahle abantu emzansi jealous down.

On the 28^th of August 2015 we touched down at Two Tone Lounge where I was crowning the next Mr Lesbian Daveyton 2015 King. The crowd was there, the gay contestants were there as always, but as usual, butch lesbians and trans men were less. To my fellow brothers (as we call each other), we need to understand that the main reason behind entering these pageants is that it’s not about winning. It is about building self-esteem, confidence, image and creating awareness.

The reasons why we are always side-lined from society is that we also don’t come out as the beautiful/handsome, intelligent, capable and innovative people that we are. I mean we need to show the world that our sexuality doesn’t mean we are not capable of being in boardrooms, senior positions and etc. What I have noticed is that most people think the only jobs we are capable of doing is hair dressing and fashion designing. While some of us party and drink as a career, and it’s not supposed to be like that, anyway back to the pageant.

From L-R: Refilwe Pitso, Vuvu Mtsweni (seated in front, 2015 Mr Lesbian Daveyton) and Lebo Magaela. Sicka Mthunzi (standing at the back) after the crowning of the 2015 Mr & Miss Gay Lesbian Daveyton.                                   Photos by Lindeka Qampi

As the crowd waited impatiently the gentleman got ready for their first attire, there were only three of them, Refilwe Pitso, Lebogang Magaela (Mr lesbian 2013) and Vuyelwa “Vuvu” Mtsweni. Due to the shortage of lesbians, the organiser Lesiba Mothibe, decided that the lesbians will contest alone and crown the king, then after that, the gays and transwomen will compete. My boys as I call them went in while I escorted them to the run way. They impressed the crowd with their different attires, which was creativity, tradition and formal.

Before the crowning, I entered the stage with a performance with the modeling team and my cousin Nontuthuzelo Mduba, who was the 1^st Prince in 2013. It was fun modeling again, even though at first we had a bit of a breakdown but we managed to polish it, after all, these things happen. Our wonderful judges were ready to announce the winner.
The 2^nd Prince was taken by Refilwe, the 1^st Prince was Lebogang and Vuyelwa was a well-deserved King.

I respect Vuyelwa because she has been entering these pageants not expecting to win nor lose but to have fun and celebrate being queer. I couldn’t document due to me moving up and down and assisting the contestants. To all those who enter pageants, to me you are all winners because at the end of the day it takes guts to be in front of a crowd.

L-R: Funo Dlangamandla (2nd Princess), Somizy Sincwala (2015 Miss Gay Daveyton winner), Sakki Leota (1st Princess) and Kgomotso Mashapha (the 2014 Miss Gay Daveyton winner in red).

We were blessed with two amazing MC’s the lovely Xoli Lewinski and gorgeous Labels kept the crowd entertained. The ladies were ready and they dragged their way to the run way looking beautiful with their exotic and unique outfits. Nathi Dlamini took the Miss Personality title, our 2^nd Princess was Funo Ndlangamandla, the 1^st Princess was Sakki Leota, and our Queen, Somizy Sincwala.
We were entertained by our very own Dj Puggy and blessed with drag performances by Kat, Xolani and JacobsJones.
The support from the community was surprisingly wonderful and I wish this initiative is good for our LGBTI image and it also brings the positive side in our lives. For all those who risk their lives going to spaces that danger their lives, I say come support initiatives like this for it brings joy to many, rather than us fighting and crying over hate crimes.

I wish we could have a lot of people like Lesiba who help create awareness through entertainment. If she didn’t give people the platform, I don’t think Sicka would be so great. Entering pageants helped me a lot and I must say it helps calm my nerves before getting on stage.

Related link

2015 Aug. 30:  Losing and regaining self love

and

2014 Oct. 13:  The most exquisite Miss & Mr Gay Daveyton 2014

and

2013 Sept. 15:  Lack of SA Queer History knowledge at the Miss & Mr Gay Daveyton

Photo Album by Lerato Dumse & Mary Coble and Ram Ranjan

What:  Muholi & Dumse’s Artist Talk

Where:  Stadsbiblioteket (Gothenburg City Library), Sweden.

When: @17h30

Presentation focussed on photography as a political and artistic medium in South Africa and was moderated by researcher at The Hasselblad Foundation, Louise Wolthers.

Louise Wolthers introduced Lerato Dumse and Muholi to the audience

L-R: 3 Faces and Phases participants, Lerato Dumse, Vile Fanti and Muholi in Gothenburg, Sweden

Three _ 3 Faces and Phases participants. L-R: Lerato Dumse (2010) in Johannesburg,            Vile Fanti  in Stockholm (2011) and Muholi (2011) in Cape Town

More than 100 individuals attended the Artist Talk at the Gothenburg City Library…

Muholi presented mainly Faces and Phases series. Featuring in the visual project is Ayanda Moremi (2011) portrait and follow up was done in 2013

After Q& A / discussion The Gothenburg Art Museum Book Store hosted a reception for Muholi’s book Faces and Phases 2006-14 at 18:30.

One of the book buyers who waited patiently for her book to be signed…

Lerato met Vile for the first time in Gothenburg, Sweden and Muholi met Vile in 2006, Johannesburg, SA. All of them are South Africans featuring in Faces and Phase (2006-14) publication

Previous talks 

2015 Aug. 23:  Muholi and Dumse present at Light work AIR

and

2015 March 12:  Muholi addressed scholars at Brighton University, UK

and

2015 Feb. 27:  Announcement 
Public Lecture by Zanele Muholi @UCLAN, London

and

2014 July 18: Women’s Day Lecture at UFS

and

2014 June 17: Muholi’s Ryerson University (RIC) Talk

and

2014 Mar.21: Photo of the Day from Human Rights and LGBTI in Sub-Saharan Africa class

and

2014 Mar. 18: Sharing South African Queer Knowledge with students in America

and

2014 Mar.5: More than an activist

and

2014 Feb.4: Black Queer Born Frees in South Africa

and

2013 Nov. 4: From Market Photo Workshop to Bremen University

by Christie van Zyl

This year was my first time attending Mbokodo awards ‘Celebrating Women in the Arts’.
Ang’zange nga kuzwa ukubumbana kwabantu besifazane kanje.
(I have never experienced a solidarity of women so strongly before)
Our mission for the night was to make sure we support Lindeka Qampi as a nominee in the ‘Creative Photography award’ category. Terra, Lindeka and I looked snazzy, as we headed over to Joburg City Hall, were the event was hosted. We took over the space through the lens and trended social media as if the event was our baby.

Lindeka in a celebratory mood… Photo by Terra Dick

Mbokodo awards were hosted by female comedian Tumi Morake, who introduced speeches by honorary members from the Department of Arts and Culture. Its 21 Years of Freedom and we have finally mastered a space for the recognition of women and the positive influence and change that they contribute to our still transforming democracy.

If you are you are told the story by the hunter, you will never know the heroism of the hunted.
– Susan Shabangu

Our table was riddled with winners, nominees and highly esteemed women in the arts & media industries. We enjoyed the vibrancy shared with Mamela Nyamza – nominated for the ‘Dance’ award, Oyama Mbopa, Shado Twala – Mbokodo Awards adjudicator, Monique Pelser – nominated for ‘Creative Photography award’, Thandiwe Tshabalala – winner of the ‘Creative design award’, Brenda Sisane – winner of the ‘Promotion of Arts in the Media’ award and Goitsemang Lehobye – winner of the ‘Opera’ award.
These individuals were on fire in support and celebration of the winners that have been part of our collective spaces as artists and media frontiers in South Africa. We also celebrated the winnings of Mbali Vilakazi – winner of the ‘poetry’ award.
She said, ‘2015, year of the underdog’.  Zolani Mahola of the South African band ‘Freshlyground’, also won the ‘music’ award.

We were graced with speeches from artists such Dada Masilo – winner of the ‘Dance’ award who expressed her joy from gaining recognition in her home country.

‘I have been in this industry for 13 years and gained recognition overseas, all over Europe and the USA, but to gain recognition at home is the greatest achievement for me by far’
– Dada Masilo

As well as Lindeka Qampi who panted through her speech struggling to believe that her win was real. She gave a sentimental and light hearted speech, she left the stage bouncing from one foot to the other like the tomboy that she usually is. After having accepted her award with her shoes off as they were causing discomfort while she obviously had to take photographs as she had stated.

‘I would like to thank Mbokodo awards for this award, it is very special to me. I never fully believed that I was nominated for this award until tonight. I would like say thank you to God.
I would like to say to Zanele Muholi – you are the oxygen in my life.
To my four kids – ndiyifumene into ebendiyizela lapha (I got what I came here for).
Thank you to the LGBTI community for allowing me to document your lives. Thank you. Bye!’
– Lindeka Qampi

The best performances took place with Vicky Sampson, KB and Swazi Dlamini performing Vicky’s 1995 Rugby World Cup smash hit ‘My African Dream’.
To our surprise we were also graced by the presence of Dorothy Masuku, who at 80 years old performed as if she was still young, but definitely never dropped the fresh!
We sang a jolly happy birthday to her and were then wowed by the serendipitous opera sounds of Sibongile Mngoma a past Mbokodo award winner.
The evening ended with South African Jazz Legend Thandi Klaasen singing the heartfelt jam ‘Meadowlands’ in a frail and memory fading state, she still rocked the stage.

There I was a young poet and activist trying to penetrate the arts and media industry mingling with the cream of the crop. Women I look up to, women I have worked alongside with, women that I never thought I would meet in my lifetime; and even women that I have been downtrodden with. There is something about knowing the struggle behind someone’s success, which makes it feel as though their every single achievement is something that you are personally achieving too. I left the awards with a mission to be one of the women that receive an award in the next two years, a pot plant of orchids – which symbolized my mother’s presence in the audience, and of course Shado Twala’s contacts who personally asked me to send her my work because she believes that there is just something about me!
I am truly humbled. Mission accomplished – Lindeka took home the ‘Creative Photography’ award – the greatest accomplishment of our household in 2015.

Winners of the 2015 Mbokodo Awards

Women in Indigenous Art – Helen Sebidi
Promotion of Language and Story Telling – Nise Malange
(An honorary award was also given to Nomsa Mdlalose)
Creative Writing – Lauren Beukes
Poetry – Mbali Vilakazi
Creative Photography – Lindeka Qampi
Visual Art (sculpture, Painting and video) – Berni Searle
Architecture – Nadia Tromp
Creative Design – Thandiwe Tshabalala
Fashion design and innovation – Hangwani Nengovhela
Dance – Dada Masilo
Opera – Goitsemang Lehobye
Theatre – Maralin Vanrenen
Comedy – Irit Noble
Women in Film – Ryley Grunenwald
Women in Jazz – Thandi Ntuli
Music – Zolani Mahola
Promotion of Arts in the Media – Brenda Sisane
Women Arts Ambassador – Yvonne Chaka Chaka
Women Arts Ambassador – Marrianne Fassler
Lifetime Achievement Award – Dr. Thembeka Nkamba van Wyk
Lifetime Achievement Award – Thandi Klaasen

Thank you to Carol Bouwer and her crew for creating such a powerfully inspirational space for women, by women. You give us something to aspire for in the realization that the bigger picture is still searching for many pieces to the puzzle of our liberation.

Wathinta abafazi, wathinta imbokodo!

Previous links

2015 Sept. 10:  Lindeka Qampi nominated for 2015 Mbokodo Award

and

2014 Oct. 31:  Mbokodo awards honor the first ladies of our heritage

and

2013 Aug. 31:  Black Lesbian Visual Activist wins Mbokodo award

and

2013 Aug. 29:  2nd Mbokodo Awards photos

and

2012 Nov. 30 Mbokodo awards

by Thembisa Cordelia Mhlawuli

We are all born with greatness within, of course greatness is determined by the grace of your services to others. Humanity stands to be the one greatness within, which allows one to see greatness and strive to unleash that power in everyone else. When I say this I speak of one person well known for her greatness Zanele Muholi.

It was a Saturday the 19^th of March 2016, my last day at work until my much needed leave from work. I called uBab’ Muholi informed her that am on leave; she immediately invited me and wife to go to Durban. She was documenting VMCI’s Easter Convention, I was so overwhelmed with excitement when I shared the news with Yanela Ncetani. The decision was made, we were cancelling our plans and going to Durban we were thinking it’s not everyday one gets to travel to another city. All was arranged from transportation down to accommodation for when we get there. On the 22^nd of March the bus tickets were booked.

Wednesday the 23^rd at 16:30 we departed from Cape Town, the trip was estimated at a 24 hours drive. Travelling by bus to Durban was fulfilling never minding the long journey we got to see how beautiful our country actually is as we crossed through the provinces. It was truly a bonding experience for us. I just laugh when I think of the little debates we had about where we were and what we saw as we would take turns to sleep, that was really fun. By the time we got to Pietermaritzburg the weather had changed from scotching hot to rainy which was not a bad thing at all. As some would say the rain is a sign of good things to come call me superstitious that’s what I was taught. When we arrived at Durban bus station Zanele was already there to welcome us. Accompanied by Sandile, who drove us to our final destination, a place called Tre Fontane Lodge in Marianhill.

When we arrived at the Lodge it was already dark and we were too tired to take a tour of the place. Dinner was prepared for us and we had a wholesome meal whilst enjoying supper. Pastor Zenzi Zungu, the founder of VMCI Church walked in and bab’ Muholi introduced us. Of course I was baba Mhlawuli with my future Mrs Mhlawuli. I will tell you this, “I loved being called baba Mhlawuli. We then freshened up, while Muholi was running around making sure everyone is comfortable. She is truly driven, close to a super being, while settling in we finally had time to relax and catch up with Bab’ Muholi. With the pleasantries out of the way, Zanele explained the nature of the whole reason we were there, she explained that Durban, JHB Soweto, PE and Mpumalanga have a ministry called Victorious Ministries Church International (VMCI), and the esteemed Pastor Zungu heads the congregation. Zanele further explained that the church has mostly LGBTI members; we were honestly amazed because we have never been to such a church before. Zanele explained to us that the event will be held throughout the weekend, and showed us pictures of previous events beautiful I must say. The first night at the lodge was a total bliss.

We woke the up the next morning breakfast was ready, we enjoyed breakfast with Muholi’s friends who travelled with from Johannesburg, Tumi Nkopane and Sandisiwe Dlamini became our new friends. A bit later while preparing for church everyone had arrived at the Lodge. Everyone looked so beautiful, I personally have never seen so many Queer people under one roof for church purposes. It was the first for me,  well apart from funerals, parties and Pride.

The programme was handed over and it showed that Friday and Saturday were to have 3 services a day one in the morning, midday and at night starting at 09:00 am ending 22:00 pm. After the first service we realized that we are missing out. The pastors present for the convention included Apostle Zungu, Pastor T. Ngwane, Pastor Dlamini, Pastor Zulu, Pastor Sinqe, Pastor Khanyile, Pastor Ndosi, Pastor Mazibuko and Pastor Nonxuba.
It all made sense why Muholi was God sent and placed with a task to invite us for such an event.

When the last service for Friday was done it dawned on us that there is more to life than being a lesbian who goes out partying, working, and living a good life themselves. We got a wake up call that one is actually very hungry spiritually. Not that one doesn’t go to church, it is that one is never free when one does go.  For the first time in forever you were in the house of the Lord and you are free, with no fear of who knows who and what you are, it felt good walking into a space where you can walk in church holding your partners hand without having to think who might be judging. Back in our rooms people were preparing for the next day. I was amazed to hear the worship team rehearsing and those who were going to be in the programme for the next day were heard at prayer, feeding their souls with the holy word and that for me was magical. I slept the evening through like a baby, so excited for the next day.

The next morning all was prepared for the day, now the one thing I forgot to mention is that the Durbanites love dressing up. Most brought their best garments, am telling you, each seminar was a treat, they looked stunning and when I say they I mean each and everyone.  As beautiful as everyone was the most important thing though is what they had in store for the congregation each message delivered was powerful and it truly hit home. One word to describe it is Phenomenal.

As we write this we are going through the whole experience and the memories created and we can’t help but smile, being thankful that we were part of such. As the services went on and everything that happened in there was nothing short of miracles and all I can say is that the presence of the almighty was definitely working on souls such as mine, and that alone was a life changing moment for me. Saturday’s service done and on our way to sleep I felt different or rather I felt like I had a light bulb moment and something woke up from within although I cant pin point out exactly what that actual feeling was. Bedtime was peaceful yet again.

After the second session was over Bab’ Muholi invited everyone to one of the lodge’s boardrooms to watch a documentary in memory of the late Mrs Zungu. She passed on in December 2015. The documentary began with clips that were taken early 2012 when the Durban VMCI had just opened. Where the late Mrs Zungu had participated in the church activities down to her previous Easter conventions prayers. The most touching part of the documentary was a clip during early last year taken by Muholi in New York were both Pastor Zungu and Mrs Zungu were invited by baba to see her most acclaimed work overseas.

Sunday morning people dressed to the TEEE! Everyone looked absolutely spectacular. The last service was emotional as it was the last service we were to have, then we parted ways afterwards.  The service was wonderful as expected, and after the service we all had the last meal together, then took pictures, which was a bit emotional. Oh I forgot to mention as my wife to be was coming back from church she fell on the stairs going down to have the last meal. It was embarrassing I also got hurt but it wasn’t severe. I think the excitement of it all got to me.  Sad part was saying our goodbyes. All was packed and ready to go. We got to the bus station however everything was fully booked, considering it was Easter weekend and all. Now our best resort was booking a flights no luck there as well, the only available flights were for the next day and only British Airways was available the others were fully booked till the Wednesday the 30th. Muholi was worried and she took it upon herself to ensure that the tickets are booked. Again that brings one to ask how blessed can one be?

Seeing that the flight was booked for the next day that meant spending the night in Durban. Muholi took us to her home where she grew up in uMlazi. P section as she called it. It was a long weekend and no one was up for cooking so we opted for Shisa Nyama instead. We got to Muholi’s home we were welcomed with very warm hands. We reminisced about the weekend’s events while sitting in the yard with Nonhle Kunene, Lerato Dumse, Tumi Nkopane, Sandisiwe Dlamini and Muholi. Our flight was for 6 o’clock in the morning and that meant a very early morning as the airport is quite far from uMlazi.

We stayed up for most of the night just talking about everything under the sun we were supposed to leave at 3 in the morning because Muholi’s older sister Mam’ Lizzy (as most of us called her) had a flight earlier than ours.  3 o’clock came about and we said our goodbyes for the last time.
(Sad moments yet again, I hate goodbyes). It was dark when we arrived and dark when we left I wished we could’ve seen Umlazi under the sun. The three of us travelled together accompanied by baba’s brother whom we met the previous night.  We arrived at the airport safely, checked in just on time. At 05:50 our flight was to depart from King Shaka International airport heading home. Our flight landed at the Cape Town airport at past 8 due to certain delays. My mother was already there to pick us up.  Got home and shared the experience.

And it makes sense to share it with everyone as well because great moments are to be shared. The only thing I can say is that I look forward to the day that a VMCI branch is opened in Cape Town.

Previous by Mhlawuli

2015 July 15:  Doing the best for my daughter